I came across a letter that I wrote to myself at some point of struggle and was, once again, surprised at how easily one forgets what they know.  I was very appreciative of myself for having written it down so that I could remember again.  It's funny how hard it can be to tell yourself these things regularly. 

Dear Mat, 

I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time.  I know that, at times, you are filled with doubt.  I want you to know that I am very proud of you for how hard you have worked throughout your life to do what is right and to be true to yourself as well as to those you love.  You have shown tremendous strength and courage.  I know that you have made mistakes along the way.  Some of your choices have been hurtful to others and yourself, but please, try to be as forgiving of yourself as you are of those around you.  You are generous of heart for others so please do the same for yourself.   

I hope that you will always remember that things will work out ok  Your life will never be perfect but, by and large, far more will work toward your favor than against.  It is little consolation during tough times but, at the very least, you know without a doubt that every life experience you have, whether enjoyable or not, always results in growth.  You are always learning and have always been driven by that.  Let that drive you now during this time when you are having difficulty feeling your motor.  I know there are many things you want out of life.  Some of those things, you know, won’t be possible.  Some of them still are.  Trust yourself to know when to act and when to be still in the process of working toward your dreams.  Don’t let yourself be stuck in the mud, but be realistic about what makes the most sense for your life and who you actually are.  Don’t get tricked by who you thought you’d be or who you think you are supposed to be.  You are you, just as you are, for better and worse.  Accept that and find joy in knowing.  

Love,

Mat