The New Me

Many of you know that I just underwent ACL reconstruction surgery. This surgery involves removing the torn ACL from the knee and replacing it with a graft from another ligament or tendon in the body. In my case, the graft for my reconstruction was not taken from my own body but was donated from someone else. My first reaction to this was to be amazed with modern medicine and the ability to accomplish such complex things. I very quickly also began to ponder the notion of having tissue from another body in mine. I flipped through a lot of thoughts ranging from it seeming a little creepy to being excited at the idea of getting to have the opportunity to have such a close connection with another person.

I understood that this tissue (an Achilles tendon in my case) would be harvested from a cadaver, a person who is no longer living. It seems strange now, but it took some time for it to sink in that this would not be a person who's life had run its "natural"course of aging and failing as all bodies eventually will. Such aged tissue would not be a good fix for a knee that will be hoping to dance and jump and run and play for another 30-40 years. I was faced with the truth that the tissue I would receive would come from a person who's life was cut short, someone likely only 20-35 years old.

Whoever this person was, whoever their family was, chose to turn that loss into a gift. In all likelihood, there are a number of people whose lives were saved from this gift, perhaps a heart recipient or kidney or liver. The families who received those gifts surely feel the full gratitude of the generosity involved. Those recipients may want to meet the family at some point to tell them the story of how their loss, became the saving grace for someone else.

Though my life was not saved, it will be significantly improved. It feels very important to honor the gift given me. In comparison to heart and liver transplants, an Achilles graft transplant may seem trivial but in order to have wholeness, it is not. The people who received those larger gifts will forever represent, in fact be connected to, the life giving power of the donor. Those people will represent the life force of the donor and what was notable and evident and special about him or her. I like to think that the gift I received will stand for the the un-notable, everyday aspects of that person. The parts of them that were regular and routine; the parts of them that filled the space between the special and the outstanding moments of their lives; undoubtedly, the parts that their family and loved ones miss the most.

The Truth

Who am I to believe that I know "the truth" over anyone else. Such arrogance would surely impede my ability to see the truth before me. I am as qualified as any and as ignorant as well. For that matter, who am I to believe that there is one single constant truth? With humility, silence, and an open mind and heart I can only hope to attune myself to the truth that exists in each moment; the truth that is specific for that situation, time and place. With trust I can hope to allow others to see the truth before them and to use it as a guide along the path that is theirs. With love I can support them on their path and accept support as well as I take each step with an openess toward each new truth before me.